


My White Butterfly

by bratskigirl



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Love Confessions, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-10-14 19:08:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17514260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratskigirl/pseuds/bratskigirl
Summary: April needs something more from her life, so she decides to make some changes. However, when Ethan finds out things get interesting and brutal truths are revealed. [Takes place during and after season 4]





	1. Time to Move On

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! This is my first fanfiction story. I have become an avid Chicago Med Fan and have loved the relationship between Ethan and April (#Chexton). But lately, the way the characters are relating does not feel fleshed out and they need some clarity. Season 2 "White Butterfly" episode was a great springboard for their relationship and I felt it would be a good thread for my first story. I appreciate feedback, so please leave comments and CONSTRUCTIVE suggestions. Enjoy!

April could have sworn it was a holiday or something because any and everyone seemed to need help. She kept waiting for her shift to be over so she could change and go, but then right before 5pm, this woman brings in her baby girl who is having trouble breathing and Nat was busy with another patient. So, that meant she had to work with Ethan. Why?! she screamed in her head. She knew they worked well together, but she needed a break from him if she was ever going to heal from him not loving her.  
“April, something is blocking her airway. I am not sure I can get to it without surgery.”  
Stunned, April shouted “Surgery! She doesn’t need surgery. Here give her to me.” While Ethan was still shocked, April held the infant in her arms face down and placed a little pressure on her chest upward. After a couple of thrusts, the magnet seemed to come back up and Ethan was able to get it out with forceps. The mother was so elated, she hugged April and said “Thank you Doctor”. April smiled at her warmly “I’m not a doctor, but I was a mother. We have to be prepared for anything.” She gently touched the woman’s arm and left the room. Ethan, quickly on her heels, grabbed her elbow.  
“I don’t think I have ever seen that done. What did you do?” He looked at her with admiration and puzzlement.  
“When I was pregnant, I studied all of the newest methods of first aid for infants and toddlers. I figured with all the advancements in medicine, I could use ideas that were “out of the box”, for my baby.” She paused and looked off solemnly. Ethan instantly regretted making her sad thinking about her miscarriage. However, the truth was she was thinking of the children she dreamed of having with him, the ones they now will never have. She noticed his pensiveness and just as he was about the apologize for bringing it up, she stopped him.  
“Ethan don’t worry about it. I’m fine. But to answer your question, there was a new study that showed if the baby could breath, that supine positioning and movements that mimicked the Heimlich, could move some swallowed items back into the airway enough to be removed easily. You could keep it from progressing too far where the airway was completely blocked, while not physically putting the baby through too much pain.” She smiled softly.  
“I guess I have some reading to do, huh?”  
“Why? Your specialty is not pediatrics. But if you and Vicki do decide to have kids, you may want to read up on it.” Her smile faded some, and at the mention of Vicki’s name Ethan’s posture stiffened. Once again she had made it awkward, because he chose to love someone else. She had to get out of there now. April looked at the clock. “Damn, its 5:45! I have to get dressed.” Before Ethan could ask why, she quickly ran to shower.  
Six o’clock on the dot. Kelly looked but April was nowhere to be found. Kelly smiled to himself, he actually thought it would be better to go to the desk for her. He wanted everyone, especially Ethan, to know April had someone there to visit her. April had previously mentioned that when she was helping the squad convince Dr. Rhodes to save Stella’s lungs, Ethan had alluded that April was more focused on helping him not Stella. So, although there was only friendship between them, Kelly wanted Ethan to realize what it would be like to see April with someone else. He had no problem bringing his new woman in front of April, so why not stand in front of HIM.  
“Hey Maggie. Where’s April?” Kelly smiled charmingly.  
“Ooooh! Kelly you look good man! What you want with April?” Kelly grinned at her question, but didn’t say a word. Most of the team had filed out into the center work area, when April emerged from the locker room. Kelly could not help but smile- April looked GOOD! She had chosen a lavender V-cut sweater, dark fitted jeans, and heeled ankle boots, with her hair open and out. He had to admit she looked hot, and as Kelly could tell from the corner of his eye, Ethan thought so too.  
“Hey Starbright!” April giggled and smiled broadly.  
“You haven’t called me that in forever,” she replied as Kelly helped her put on her Leather jacket.  
Maggie had observed Ethan’s white knuckles on the desk, so of course she thought more information would be necessary. “What’s a Starbright?” Maggie asked.  
April and Kelly smiled at the same time. “I used to call her that in high school, because she always found a way to light up my life and it just stuck.”  
“But only Kelly could call me that. No one else dared.” She paused. “Honestly, I don’t think anyone ever saw me except Kelly. I wasn’t that popular.”  
Kelly laughed, motioning for Noah to come closer, as he walked out of a patient room. “Noah, your sister just told Maggie she wasn’t popular in high school. And that no one ever ‘saw’ her.” At this, Noah let loose a belly rumbling laugh.  
“Let her tell it. Every day, some dude would ask me how I could help him get a date with my sister. Shoot, the gifts they gave me for her, helped me get my high school girlfriends!” April’s mouth dropped appalled. “What?! You wouldn’t take them, so why let them go to waste?”  
“Okay. Okay.” April interrupted shaking her head. She turned to Kelly. “You ready to go?”  
Kelly nodded, placing his hand on her lower back.  
She turned to the team as she walked out “See you guys in a few days.” Everyone waved and smiled, except one- Ethan. He almost looked sick and April worried how Vicki would make him feel better. And as if on cue, she leaned into Kelly upset and all the team could see was him holding her close as they walked to Kelly’s car.  
As they drove off, Kelly looked over to see a crying April. “What happened? What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing. I just saw Ethan’s face when we left and he seemed upset.”  
“Good. He needs to know you can move on too!”  
“Was that what ‘Starbright’ was about?” He nodded. “Well, all I can think of now is how Vicki is going to take away that sick look on his face.” Kelly felt bad she was upset, but as a man he knew what Ethan was thinking and needed to realize about April.  
“Look April. Truth is, a man will allow himself to be comfortable and spend time with anyone he likes. But he’ll do his damnedest to make sure no one else spends time with the person he loves. We don’t want anyone else in our spot!”  
“Well, I don’t know if I believe that. Ethan is not like most men. It was actually one of the things I loved most, and hated, about him.” She closed her eyes and all she could see was disgust on his face. “I just need to get over him and move on.”  
Kelly listened to his friend. He knew April. Her voice signaled that she was beginning to shut down on her feelings. And if the past is any indication, she’ll be walled off for years. He had to help her see what he did. Ethan still loved her. “April, I know you don’t believe me, but you’re hurting because you’re in LOVE! You allowed yourself to feel for him in a way you never have, even with me or Tate. And you’re scared and retreating.” April scoffed at Kelly’s accurate assessment, but he had one more comment before exiting the car. “BUT it’s not just you! He still loves you and you can have the life you want… but you have to be willing to stay in the moment!” April ignored his comment and jumped out the car. It was then that Kelly decided he would have to speak to Ethan directly.  
“You have nerve to talk!” April jumped. “We both know Stella loves you STILL, but you being scared to bare your heart and feelings to her, will keep her away!” Kelly dropped his head, closing her door.  
“So I guess it’s good we’re here to help each other get our lives straight. Because if we don’t, I guess we will end up with each other!” April and Kelly looked at each other and burst into laughter, walking into Molly’s with their arms wrapped around each other. They grab a table and order drinks and food as Stella leaves out the back of the bar.


	2. Running woman

She looked in the mirror and for the first time in several months, April looked like herself. Like the her she was before she met him, before she dreamed. She had taken Ethan’s death scare to heart, but when she found him with his ex that night, something finally broke and it finally clicked- she had to move on, just like he had. 

April found that her forward movement required her to expand her current reality. She needed more for herself, even though she had decided to lock away her dream life, she had to find some kind of balance. And since she was not ready for a love interest, she chose to explore growth in her work. Additional training, increasing her education and skills, opened new opportunities for her; although not how most would have thought. Either way, it was a move in the right direction.

“Dr. Manning! Treatment 4.”  
Maggie soon noticed Kelly was trailing behind the patient. “Kelly? Why are you here? Are you OK?” she asked. As if like clockwork, Brett reappears and answers for him.

“NO! He needs to be checked for smoke inhalation,” she stated while Kelly continued to protest, stating he was fine.

“Mags, don’t listen to him. He tried to stop the bleeding and stabilize the victim, before bringing her out. He stayed too long inside and gave away her his mask.”

“She’s pregnant Mags. I had to try, “he replied.

“Fine. So now you’ll get checked out.” Kelly hung his head in defeat. “Dr. Choi, treatment 6!”

“Got it Mags. Kelly? How you feeling?” Ethan asked as they walked to the exam room.   
Just as Kelly turned to say it was unnecessary to be checked out, Maggie’s voice rang out over the department. “Possible smoke inhalation complications are non-negotiable Severide!”

Choi chuckled, “You heard the lady,” and the two proceeded to treatment 6.

After about 20 minutes, April returned from break. “Maggie I’m back. What’s next?”  
“Nothing right now, but Kelly’s in 6.”  
“Kelly? My Kelly?” Maggie nodded. “Is he ok?”  
“Yeah, just needed to be checked for too much smoke inhalation.” April quickly moved to the room, only to find Kelly with an oxygen mask looking as if he was asleep.   
She quietly stood beside him, touching his head, and his eyes slowly opened.  
“Hey lady?” he said as he removed the mask.

“Hi. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, Choi said a little oxygen and I should be fine. Where were you? I expected you to be working with him.”

“I was on break, but Maggie hasn’t been putting me on his service much anymore. Working with Dr. Manning is easier.” Kelly nodded under his mask. “Besides,” she began as Ethan approached unbeknownst to her, “working with Natalie allows me to get out on time to meet up with you.” Kelly smiled under the mask, but almost immediately the smile faded. She didn’t have to look, because she could feel him- Ethan was there. And guessing by Kelly’s reaction, April assumed he probably heard her last statement. But then she thought about it- why should she worry about what he thinks? He has her!

So April turned and faced Ethan with the look of concern for her friend. “Dr. Choi, is he going to be OK?”  
Ethan’s stoic countenance told her he was probably angry, but he wasn’t her concern anymore, so she waited for a response. “Well, he should be good after a 30-minute oxygen treatment,” Ethan answered looking at his watch, “which just ended. How do you feel Kelly?” he asked quickly removing the mask.

“Good doc, thanks.”

“Fine. I’ll get your discharge papers completed.” And with that Ethan quickly turned and retreated from the room. When she didn’t immediately turn back after watching Ethan leave, Kelly took the opportunity to push. 

“Why don’t you go after him?”

“What” She replied shocked.

“It’s obvious you still love him. And it’s obvious he still loves you, if his reaction to your ‘meeting up with me’ comment is any indicator.” April scoffed. 

“You saw him. He doesn’t care. He’s moved on, like I told you.”

“April, he hasn’t. But he will if you don’t talk to him.” 

Shaking her head in disbelief, April responded. “You don’t see him with her. I do! So… never mind. Just go Kelly.”

“See you later?” he asked exiting the room, not realizing Maggie and Ethan were listening.

“Yep. See you at 7.”

“Ok pretty lady- see you at 7.” Kelly spun around and waved good-bye to Maggie as he left. And as April approached, Maggie gave her the next assignment, but her face told April it was time to tell her the truth.

“What Mags? Don’t look at me like that.”  
“I AM going to look at you like that! What’s going on between you two?” Very aware of the “ears” that forever relays the gossip around the department, April stepped closer so she could whisper.  
“Maggie, nothing is going on between us- he’s my friend. But he is helping me with something that’s going to change my life. And gives me options other than just Chicago.”  
“What?” Maggie asked intrigued.  
April shook her head. “Not here. Maybe we can meet for a drink at Molly’s tonight. Say 10?”  
“Ok, but you better tell me everything.”  
“I will,” she smiled as she walked away with her stomach in knots.

Two days off from the hospital was exactly what April needed and she wasn’t scheduled to work her part time job either, so she had time to catch up with her homie Kelly. He and Stella had finally worked out their issues, or at least started, and he was happy again. Yes, they still had things to work through, but they both accepted that they loved and wanted to be with each other, more than being “right”, so at least he was getting his happily ever after. April just wished she could. After Tate, April did not know if she would be able to open up her heart again. She had lost so much during that relationship, that she was not even sure she would have wished for it again. But here she was now… in a relationship with a great man (or at least she had been) … and she loved him!  
Ethan was not what she would have expected. Where Tate never really challenged her, but tried to control her, Ethan would stand toe-to-toe with her, unafraid to anger her; unafraid of her pending wrath! He was strong and he seemed invigorated by a strong woman. So what went wrong?! 

“How did I fuck this up?” April mumbled to herself. She thought Kelly didn’t hear her, but he did.  
“I don’t know. How did you?” he asked.  
“It doesn’t matter. Lunch with you will give me a good reason to change the subject in my mind for a while.” But Kelly wasn’t going to let her just get away scot free.   
“Oh no! You don’t get off that easy. What’s the deal with Ethan? I don’t think I have ever seen you act this way over a man? What’s the deal?”  
“The truth is Ethan makes me want to dream.” She let out a loud sigh and shook her head.   
“Ok you want to dream. Go on.”

“Look you know me Kelly. You know my family. I love them all, but I have always just lived my life for them. I lived so I could be there for them if they needed or help them to fulfill their dreams. Never for me! But with Ethan, he makes me want to dream for me.” A single tear trickled down her cheek. “I dreamed of our kids and family dinners. I wished for the nights when he would rub my stomach and kiss our unborn child until I fell asleep. I wished for the first day he would swell with pride, when he introduced me as his wife at the Naval Officer’s Gala.” She looked up at Kelly as she wiped her tears away. “I dreamed of being HIS, unveiled and open and free from the walls I built over the years.”

“So what happened? Sounds like you were happy.”  
“Kelly, I was dreaming about these things the first night he kissed me and it scared the shit out of me! How could I have felt that way so soon? Why was I so willing to break down every barrier for him? He didn’t have to do it, I wanted to do it. But it didn’t make sense.” Kelly still looked confused. “I just figured because it was a result of me miscarrying only a few months before, so I kept those walls up.” 

“Ok,” he nodded in understanding. “So you also played the surface game, thinking it would never be more than that?”  
“Yes, but over time my dreams just became more frequent and vivid and I realized there were no walls for him. He seemed to bypass them and found my heart instead.” She sucked back her tears. “So when he decided to just TELL me he was moving his sister in, instead of consulting my opinion, I accepted he wasn’t my dream and he would hurt me, so I left.”  
“Makes sense.”  
“Exactly! But now with her always around in my face, my dreams HURT!”  
Kelly corrected her. “No, I said it makes sense because I was able to follow your reasoning, but it’s not him killing your dreams- YOU are!” April gasped as if she had been punched in the gut.   
“How can you say that?!”  
“Ok. From the beginning of your relationship with Ethan, you felt the connection between you and that scared you. But I think your heart finally recognized the key it had been missing.” April didn’t understand. “There’s an outer room of your heart- the place you show everyone. You shower love from this place and it’s open for any and every one. But the area of your heart that is most vulnerable, weak, and beautiful- the you the world doesn’t get to see, but only that one person. And even people like Tate and I, who could only look over the walls you built, Ethan was the pure soul that could just walk in.”  
“Ha! Ethan is far from pure!” April scoffed, but Kelly kept going.  
“His love for you is!”   
“He doesn’t love me Kelly! How many times do I have to tell you that? If he loved me, we’d still be together.”  
“I could say the same about you.” Her mouth dropped in disbelief. Was Kelly actually blaming her for her breakup with Ethan?  
“It isn’t my fault! He chose his sister over me! And then after I risked my life to save his, he chose Dr. Vicki Glass,” she stated sarcastically. "So if he really loved me, would any of that happened? No!”  
Kelly noticed she was really worked up, because she was turning red and breathing hard. But he wasn’t going to let her get off that easily. If she was going to breakthrough her walls, he was going to have to push her to do so.   
“So with him you allow yourself to dream and that’s a BAD thing?”  
April’s head swiftly snapped to face him. “Kelly, the point is that my dreams can’t come true because he’s with her. So the only thing for me to do is for me to remove myself from the situation.”

He was familiar with that tone in her voice. “What have you done?” Kelly questioned.  
April turned her head away bashfully, as she rose from the table. “I signed up for a tour with ‘doctors without borders’.” The shock on his face made her instantly think she made a mistake. “Don’t look at me like that! I did it before when I first started nursing. And now with my paramedic license, they said I would be of more value in the field.”  
“So you’re leaving?! When?”  
“I’m scheduled to fly out to Sierra Leone next Saturday.”  
“A week?!”  
“Twelve days to be exact,” she replied as she grabbed her keys motioning Kelly out. “Gotta go get my shots. I’ll catch up with you later.” April hugged him quickly and ran away.   
Kelly knew then and there he had to see Ethan, because if she didn’t let him run away from making it right with Stella, he wasn’t going to let her run away from Ethan.


	3. Out of the Mouth of Babes

The night April got shot had scared Ethan more than he could imagine. They hadn’t been together in over a year, but when he heard she had been shot… thinking of her almost being killed, something in Ethan become untethered- knowing she was hurt messed him up. The nightmares and PTSD started again, but he could control it. He had to! He had to focus on what he had, because what he wanted had moved on. Or backward, if she and Kelly were any indication. The truth was Ethan missed April. Since she got shot, she seemed to be everywhere else, except with him, even on shift. After their argument a few weeks ago, when he accused her of mistreating patients to get back at him and they kissed, it seemed that Maggie made good on her threat to keep them separated. Now that he thought on it, the kiss seemed more like a ‘good-bye’, instead of an overwhelming emotional response. And now Emily was back in town, which just reminded him of the family he let go or imploded because of her. Though her presence reminded him of the life he lost, the arrival of his niece Tess brought a needed joy.

Emily arrived back from Vegas to find things much different than when she left. Emily assumed when she left April and Ethan would get back together, because she saw how they looked at each other when they thought no one was looking. But now there was this Vicki woman she didn't know and she didn't know how she felt about her. Ethan told her about her being a doctor and in the Navy, but he wasn’t the brother she knew until he was with April. Emily feared he would leave again without April’s influence.  
"So Ethan...," she asked while changing Tess's diaper, "what happened with April? And who is this Vicki woman?" 

Ethan stopped pouring his coffee when she said April's name- he had forgotten that Emily had grown fond of her. "Nothing happened. We're friends," he answered. "And Vicki is an old girlfriend, a doctor at the VA, who I started dating again once she returned from her deployment. " Emily turned up her nose as she cradled the baby. "Don’t look like that. You don't even know her! I'm sure you'll love her once you meet her." She scoffed. "I mean you didn't like April at first either."

"Doubtful. But hey, it’s your life."

"Thank you."

"Well I'll keep my opinion to myself for now, but I hope you’re not settling for what you can get, instead of going for what you want. You deserve the life you want Ethan and I want that for you,” she paused.   
“Here hold your niece while I use the restroom."

Ethan held Tess and felt himself smile largely at her adorable giggles and grins resulting from him nibbling her fingers she forced in his mouth. Despite her father's genetics, Tess looked just like Emily. She was going to be a beautiful girl, Ethan thought, which meant he was going to need to make sure his arsenal was sufficient. Suddenly she put her hand on his cheek, looking directly at him, and the memory of April flooded his mind.

"Ok I'm ready to go. Let's do this." Emily said damming the flooding memories. He looked confused. Where was she going? Or where did she think they were going?

"Go where?"

She smirked. "We're going to the hospital of course! You have a shift right?" He nodded. "Well I want to see everyone and introduce Tess to her extended family- especially since Bernie and his deadbeat group won’t be around." She snapped.

He didn't know how this would go, but if she desired to see everyone, she should. Ethan found himself immediately considering April's response when she is introduced to Tess. She's gonna fall in love as soon as she sees her, he thought. But honestly, he figured it would probably be mutual and he smiled.

 

Tess was a big hit, as Ethan had predicted. Everyone was kind to Emily and adored baby Tess, especially April. The way Tess held onto April and cooed into her neck, you’d have thought Tess was her daughter. He hadn’t seen April smile like that in months, so much love and joy, and this time it actually reached her eyes. The only time the joy was betrayed was when Tess reached for Ethan, while holding onto April. The infant was not content to have only one of them, she wanted both of them together. When Ethan joined his ladies, he instinctively wrapped his arm around April’s waist, enclosing their little cocoon of happiness. Emily and Maggie whispered to each other about how cute the little bubble of joy was and of hopes that the adults would finally get their issues resolved. Staring into April’s eyes, Ethan could envision the life he could have had, a wife and family he loved and adored. He could swear she saw it too, but then the light in her eyes dulled. And with a turn, the brightness in his eyes dimmed as well- Vicki had arrived. April kissed sweet Tess on her forehead and gave her to Ethan with a sadness on her face and once again his heart ached for causing her pain. Ethan gave her a pitying smile as he turned to introduce Tess and her mother to his girlfriend.

Vicki smiled broadly at Ethan with a baby, although she couldn’t ignore the ‘family’ portrait she originally saw when she came in. Suddenly, a pretty young Asian woman was coiled around Ethan.

“Vicki, I want you to meet my sister Emily and my niece, Tess.” Emily was amused by the shock on her face. So Ethan hadn’t mentioned her, or she just assumed his sister would never return, but either way Vicki was shocked. 

Emily extended her hand. “Nice to meet you Vicki.” Vicki took her hand shaking it nervously. And as she extended her hand to touch Tess, a loud wail rang out over the department. Everyone chuckled, but Vicki seemed unnerved. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Maggie stated, “she just needs to get used to you.” Vicki smiled weakly.

“Or she doesn’t like you.” Emily snubbed. Ethan rolled his eyes at his sister and handed Tess to her.

“She doesn’t know you yet,” he stated to Vicki. And then he turned to Emily, “But she’ll be a fast friend once she gets to know Vicki.”

Emily nodded, “But of course.” Maggie dropped her head and walked away- that tension was too much.

“Vicki, I’m surprised to see you. What are you doing here?” Ethan asked.

“Oh, I was just in the neighborhood checking looking in on a housing possibility for a vet, so I thought I would stop by.” Her answer seemed to suffice, but she still felt that she had interrupted a happy moment. “I won’t keep you, as I am sure you have to get back to work.” He nodded. “So, I’ll meet you back at the apartment for dinner? Or will Emily be joining us?”

“No, I’ll meet you at the apartment this evening. We found her a rental earlier today.”  
She smiled and gently touched his arm. “See you then.”

 

“Emergency?”

“Maggie? Hey, its Kelly Severide.”

“Hey Kelly, what’s up?”

“Is Choi on duty?”

“Yeah, he’s with a patient. What do you need?”

“Just tell him I’m on my way to see him. I think we need to talk.” He could hear Maggie pause in response to his declaration.

“Severide, don’t come into my ED causing mess!”

“NO mess Mags, I promise. Just clarity.”

“Ok, I’ll tell him to expect you.”

 

Three hours later, Kelly strolls into the ED and runs into a very agitated Ethan Choi. “Kelly what do you want?”

“Hello to you too Choi. I wanted to speak to you about April.” The steam just rolled off Ethan’s head like crushing waves on a surf. 

“April?! You came to talk about April! What about her? You’re with her now, so why’d you want to speak with me?”

“Man, how about you stop and take a breath!” Kelly followed Maggie into the doctor’s lounge, Ethan on his heels. “First of all, I don’t have April,” Kelly answered, while Maggie tried to slip out. However, Kelly knew he needed a witness for this to work. “No, Mags, don’t leave. Can you stay?” she nodded and handed off her duties.

“What’s going on Kelly?” Ethan’s anger and fear were noticeable now that Kelly had asked Maggie to stay. “Is April ok? Did you do something?” Kelly had never seen Ethan so angry and Kelly was sure if Maggie’s hand wasn’t on Ethan’s chest, he would be in one hell of a fight. 

Kelly looked to Maggie. “Was he this bad the night she got shot?”

“Worse,” she answered. She turned to Ethan and guided him back to his chair. “Continue Kelly.”

“Like I was trying to say, I don’t have April- we’re JUST FRIENDS. But between you and me, I probably know her better than you do, and I saw this coming from a mile away.” Kelly continued as the concern grew. “She’s joined ‘doctors without borders’. She leaves next Saturday. She got her shots earlier this week.”

The breath in Ethan’s lungs seemed to give way and what was once a chest puffed in anger was now deflated in defeat. “’Doctors without borders’. But why?”

“Choi, you’ll have to ask her. But I suggest you consider what your life would be like if she wasn’t in it, because next week she won’t be.” 

Maggie looked at Kelly, while Ethan stomped away with a clenched fist. “She still loves him doesn’t she?”

“Of course she does- more than me or Tate. He’s the one, which means April…”

“Runs!” Maggie interrupted. “Yep that’s her way.”

“She can’t take seeing him with that woman moving on, when her dreams for her future die in front of her. So she plans to get some distance and try to salvage her heart.”

They both look out into the department pen, as Ethan was leaving. “Well he loves her too, so maybe this will finally move the needle.”

“We’ll see,” Kelly agreed.


	4. To Tell the Truth

Ethan stood before the door knowing this was a conversation he had to have, though not one he wanted. He cared about her- she was a great woman, but she had to know how he truly felt. Their lives would change after this. Don’t be a coward, he thought, just do it!

“Babe is that you? You’re early.” She called.

“Yeah, umm, I need to talk to you.”

“Well, can it wait until we eat? I’m starving.” Ethan’s expression let her know this was serious. “I guess I’ll have to wait.” 

Ethan motioned for Vicki to sit down. “Yeah, I’m sorry, but it can’t wait. We need to talk.”

She shook her head in disbelief- she already knew. “You’re in love with April and we’re over, right?”

Totally shocked Ethan began to apologize. “Vicki, I’m sorry. I tried to forget about her, to keep my distance, to focus only on us. But it hasn’t worked. And now she’s planning to leave for a long time, and I can’t let her go without knowing how she feels.”

Vicki’s homicidal laughter echoed throughout the apartment. She never remembered him going through this much trouble when she was deployed, but for April, he has to know! “How she feels? It’s obvious! She loves you!” she paused, “and you love her.” Vicki’s voice dripped with disdain. “You may not have realized it, but you’ve loved her this entire time. Hell, I’ve known since the day she got shot and you screamed her name out in bed.”

Ethan didn’t like what she was implying. “That’s not fair! It was a nightmare!”

“A nightmare about her dying! You couldn’t sleep for a week and then you started talking in your sleep again. I can only imagine that her dying was too overwhelming for you to handle.” She got up and started to cross the room. “And let’s be real, we were never intimate like you two were.” Confusion was visible on Ethan’s face. “Yes, we have sex, but that doesn’t automatically mean we are intimate. Every time I’d come to the hospital, until the last few months, you two were always in each other’s orbits. Hovering in each other’s personal spaces, without any discomfort or hesitation, moving like there was nothing separating you. Yet you’re supposed to be my guy, but when we’re together, I have to reach out to touch you. When you’re with her, you’re so close your breath touches her. So, how else should I read the situation?”

Ethan knew she was right. He hadn’t paid attention to how he and April moved so effortlessly together. She was a true compliment to him. An opposite that attracts, but makes him whole. A Yin to his Yang. “Vicki, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Honestly, I thought she didn’t love me. So when you reappeared in my life, I took it as a sign that I should move on. But I never stopped caring about her.”

“No, be honest, you never stopped loving her. And you just wasted 9 months of my life, because you were honest with yourself!”

“This is my fault. I’m sorry if you think I wasted your time. I care about you and I’ve enjoyed these past months, but I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.”

“Agreed Lieutenant Commander. Agreed.” Vicki snapped retreating to the bedroom. “I’ll be gone by the time you return.” 

Ethan took her hint, walked out into the hallway, and called Maggie. She pushed him to get the locks changed but he didn’t want to wait to see April, so Maggie volunteered to wait for the locksmith and to see Vicki off. Maggie called April and told her she was coming by to see her, so April would stay put, giving Ethan a chance to speak with her alone. Ethan chose to trust Maggie’s interpretation of Vicki’s comments, because obviously he was clueless about women. However, there was one woman he seemed to instinctively understand, but he would have to get both of them to be brutally honest about their feelings.

 

The knock at the door didn’t startle April, because she knew she’d have to say good-bye to her girls eventually. So Maggie would be the first.  
“Mags, I know you spoke to Kelly, just don’t kill me,” she said as she opened the door.

Ethan stood before her with an unreadable expression. “Maggie sent me instead.” April couldn’t determine if he was angry, scared, sad, or indifferent. And truthfully, she could only imagine what her face looked like.

“Can I come in?” She stepped aside and let him in.

“Ethan, why are you here?” She could hear her voice begin to break. Just hold on, she thought to herself.

“Well I hear you’re about to leave town… leave me again… and you weren’t even going to say good-bye.” Ethan loved how her eyes widened in surprise. “Is that fair? I thought we were better than that. I thought we meant more to each other.”

He has a woman, she reminded herself. “Yes, I’m leaving town. ‘Doctor’s without borders’ said they could use a paramedic nurse with my experience. And since I needed a change of scenery, I signed up.” He dropped his eyes and sat down. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have left without saying good-bye to my ED team.”

Ethan could barely breathe- she was leaving because of him! Wait, did she say paramedic? 

“Paramedic? When did you become a paramedic? And why do you need a change of scenery?”

“What?” She did not expect him to ask about her paramedic license. April had assumed he kept up with her personal life, through others, as she did with him. Once again, she reminded herself he was no longer her man, so why would he want to know what things were happening in her life. 

“I got my license about 3 months ago. I’ve been working at Firehouse #51part-time.” Ethan approached her slowly.

“Why do you need a change of scenery?” He stood so close, she could feel his breath float along her lips. 

“Why does it matter? I just do.” She turned toward the door. She wasn’t sure she could stay strong much longer, but he grabbed her wrist before she could put more distance between them. 

“Why?” he demanded.

The tears began to trickle down her cheeks like a babbling brook; which matched her babbling response. “I can’t watch you with her! It hurts too much to see you happy with her.” Immediately his mind went back to the kiss they shared when she first admitted her hurt feelings weeks ago. He had wanted to talk, but she ran away. Ethan wondered if she knew then that she planned to leave.   
April continued. “I want you to be happy, I do, but to know that I’m not the one to make you happy- I can’t take it! I can’t keep doing this- it hurts Ethan.” Ethan didn’t say anything- he just stared at her, and for once April chose to follow Kelly’s advice and tell the truth. “I promised myself, if I saw you before I left, I would tell you the truth.”

“And what is the truth April?”

April took a deep breath and let it flow. “Ethan I love you. I never stopped. You were the dream I had for myself. Being with you allowed me to focus on MY life and MY dreams, for once. And when you didn’t even consider how I felt about bringing Emily into the home WE made, I felt like my dreams were imploding before my eyes. I mean though I coddle my family, I never put them before US, and I thought you would do the same, but you didn’t. So I put my walls back up and just resigned myself to a life living for others.” She paused catching her breath. “But the truth is you’re the one person who got pass my walls, even when I didn’t want to tear them down. I’ve never had that connection with anyone else, including Tate or Kelly. It’s like you were made for me.” She dropped her eyes shaking her head, trying to push through her exposed rawness. “Kelly calls it having a ‘soul key’- that one person who can unlock anything within you. I didn’t have the strength to watch my soul be happy with someone else.” She replied as she wiped her tears. “So that’s why the change of scenery,” she mentioned as she turned to walk away, but Ethan again locked his hands around her wrist.

“NO running. It’s my turn to be honest.”

“Ethan, you don’t have to try to let me down easy. I know you’re happy and I want that for you- I meant that. But please allow me some dignity in this and let me go.”

“April, I can’t let you go until you hear me out.” His grip tightened as she nodded. “When Kelly told me you were leaving, he suggested that I consider what my life would be like if you weren’t in it. And when I did, I was lost. Vicki is nice, but she’s comfortable.” Ethan paused. He needed to make sure he could explain what he was feeling in a way April would understand clearly. “She never made me look at the areas in my life I tried to hide away- she just let them be. But you,” he smiled, “it’s like you could see everything I tried to hide, no matter the shield, and you would make me face it, deal with it, or fix it. You’re the reason why I ever tried to help Emily and why I brought her home. I thought it was what you would’ve done, so I knew it would be right. You made me better. Somehow you were able to get pass the walls I built, and still found a way to love the deeply flawed man behind them.” April dropped her eyes, but he could see the falling tears. “Please look at me.” She lifted her tear streaked face. “April I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I refuse to let you leave without ensuring you knew that.”

April’s fear immediately surfaced. “What about Vicki? Where does she fit into all this?”

Ethan chuckled lightly. “She’s packing her few things now. Maggie is there to oversee her move and the changing of the locks.”

“Maggie?”

“Yeah, she decided to help me out, so that I could say what I needed to say to you.” And before she was able to change the subject, Ethan kissed her. And for the first time in 9 months, he felt whole and HOME!


	5. New Start

Her lips were peaches dripping with vanilla cream and all he could do was suckle on them. Within minutes, what started as a tender expression of love, quickly progressed into an inferno of lust. He couldn’t stop kissing her, tasting her, and his tongue kept probing her mouth. April loved it when he nibbled on her lips, but she was electric when he went deeper and let his tongue dance with hers. She grabbed his face and slowly kissed his eyes, his cheeks, and then kissed him gently behind his right ear. His breath became shaky, and his heart rate sped up. She was happy to see his “spot” hadn’t changed. When the moan escaped his throat, she was encouraged the more. So she began to rub the back of his head, as she was accustomed, and gently suckling on his lips this time. Another moan and when she opened her eyes, he smiled and pressed her body against his. He ran his tongue down her neck, gently nibbling at her collarbone. And as her breath became ragged, he loosened his grip and ran his hands in opposite directions- one slowly caressing her breast and one gently stroking her butt. This time she released the moan and he took advantage. He slipped off her t-shirt, picked her up, and carried her to the bedroom. She had packed everything but her bed linens, so it was perfect for them. As he laid her down, he allowed his lips to reacquaint themselves with her body- her breast, stomach, thighs, hips, and the taste of her forbidden fruit. Knowing her body again, seemed to unlock a part of himself he forgot existed. She really was the key to his soul, as she was the one who could unlock the innermost part of his heart. And as Ethan slurped up the nectar dribbling down her thighs and nibbled on her bud, her body opened like a blossoming flower revealing her beauty. Overwhelmed he began to weep himself.

“April, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” She smiled with twinkling eyes.

“I love you too!” she replied rolling them over so that she could be reacquainted with his body. She gently skated her nails over the sculpted terrain of his body- his chest, arms, stomach and thighs, while kissing the spot behind his ear. And then when she removed his pants and her wand of ecstasy stood up so strong and tall, her mouth began to water. She had to have him, she was hungry for him, and she wasn’t going to wait any longer. “Ethan, I want you now,” she said as she began to position herself over him, “but what do you want? Should we do this?”

“You can tell by my body that I want you, but I don’t want to rush you. We still have things to decide, so we could wait if you want.” April paused and longingly looked in his eyes- and the love she saw let her feel free to dream again. “I’m ready.” And with that, they made love- the missing pieces of his life puzzle finally whole.

 

Exhaustion finally overran the feral desires to become one, after about three hours. April curled up on Ethan’s chest and began to doze off. “April? You asleep?” He could feel her smile on his chest.

“Yes I’m asleep,” she answered.

He chuckled. “Why did you become a paramedic?” She was puzzled by his question, especially considering they had just spent hours making love.

“Well I had to admit to myself that many times when I would be upset with you for treating me as just a nurse, which made me feel less than, I wasn’t really angry at you. I was really upset with myself. I had locked away my dream of being a doctor, to fulfil the dream of my family and help my brother become a doctor. And though I enjoy my job as a nurse, I was frustrated by the need to put more of my knowledge and skills to use.” He nodded in understanding. “And since I knew I didn’t want to waste numerous years in becoming a nurse practitioner or doctor, I chose the paramedic route instead. It allows me to treat a patient autonomously in an emergency situation, more than I can as a nurse. And yet, I can still work hand-in-hand with the hospital.” His beaming smile unnerved her. “What? Don’t tell me you think this is beneath you too?”

Ethan’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “I wouldn’t think such a thing, nor have I ever. But I apologize if I didn’t treat you like you were as knowledgeable as I know you are. It was never my intention to make you feel less than the awesome person you are.” He lifted her chin so she could see his eyes. “I am proud of you. Paramedics are part of the backbone of emergency medicine, much like nurses,” he smiled at her, “so I think this is a good move. And if you decide medical school is an option later on, I will help you study.”

“I appreciate that,” she stated while lightly kissing him. “I’m not sure med school is in my future- but as long as you remember that you can speak to me like a colleague and not a subordinate, we’ll be good. Can you do that?”

“Done!” Suddenly his grin turned sour. “What about ‘doctors without borders’? Are you still going?”

“Seriously?! You really think I’m leaving you and us now? This isn’t a real deployment you know?” She got up and located her contact in her phone. “I’ll call them now.”

“Is it too late? I mean it is 8pm.”

“My team leader, Josh, encourages us to call him late at night.” She turned to find Ethan’s concerned face. 

“Josh? And he takes calls late?” Ethan set up. “Is there something I need to know?”

April giggled. “Josh… and his wife Leah, always let us call late because most of us work into the evening.” He smiled and shook his head at his jealous reaction. They weren’t even officially back together, but the thought of another man having access to her in any way generated these irrational jealous questions.

“Green is a different color on you,” she commented as a result of his irrational jealousy. April contacted Leah and after a few minutes and inquiries, Leah told her they could replace her with someone else. As she hung up, Ethan asked about her conversation.

“What did she want you to do? What did Leah ‘know’?” April was confused. “You said ‘I will’”.

April blushed shyly. “When she interviewed me for the tour, she wanted to know why I wanted to leave, and we discussed you and I. She figured that my change of mind probably had to deal with you. She asked me to keep in touch and send her a wedding invitation when it’s time. So I said I will.” She knew mentioning marriage, even quoting someone else, could be dangerous. However, Ethan just smiled broadly.

“Yes, I definitely want to meet her!” he stated as he rolled onto her. “So now that you’ve had some rest… Next round?”

She smiled seductively. “Yes, but don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere!” And they kissed, once again becoming one soul masterfully joined.


	6. The New Normal

“So how are things going?” Maggie asked.

April’s smile told it all. “We’re great!”

It had been 3 months since she and Ethan got back together and they were better than ever. They still shared some shifts together, which worked great, but she would cover a couple of paramedic shifts each month to keep up her skills and help out 51. Ethan had asked her to move back in, but she thought it would be best to allow them to ‘court’ a little more this time. Each had keys to the other’s place, but it allowed them some time to miss each other. The ‘semi-distance’ as she called it (because they slept in the same bed every night- even if not the entire night), also gave them more places to make love and try new positions. It even helped them with handling issues with their families. They made a pact to concentrate on keeping ‘their family’ first, before entertaining the problems of others. So when Emily and Bernie began to fight over Tess, April and Ethan talked about what and how much they would do. They agreed to keep watch over the toddler, until her parents could legally reach an acceptable custody agreement. “We’re doing really good. Tess’s things have taken over our apartments, but she is a bundle of joy to have around.”

Maggie’s heart was warmed, as this was the happiest she had ever seen her friend. April seemed content, not only with her personal life, but her professional life as well. 

“Well, I don’t think I have ever seen Dr. Choi as happy. He actually laughs and jokes. And when he’s holding the baby, he looks like a new man.” April nodded in agreement. “So, what’s next?”

April’s head shot up quickly. “Look. We are just getting back into the swing of things.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like you are strangers or something.”

“True, but last time I think we got swept up in the romanticism, but did not make any effort to put our lives together in a practical way. We were still learning each other on a personal level, and at times that strained us more than it should have.” April fondly remembered their former attempt, placing her hand over her heart. “But now, when we disagree, we look for the compromise that we can both live with and keeping our relationship as our focus.”

“That’s wonderful. You guys are so mature! Can I be like you?” Maggie chuckled sarcastically. 

April had curved her lips to respond, but she could hear Tess’s giggles from far away, so she decided to keep quiet for now. But her rolled eyes told Maggie what she thought about her comment. And as she reviewed the orders for her patients, she felt a hand around her waist and a sweet kiss on the back of her neck. She turned to see a bright eyed baby girl and her uncle with the smiling dimples.

“Well hello you two! How has your day been?”

Tess just yammered incessantly, telling April all about her morning in the nursery. “Oh really little one? Well you’ll just have to tell me more about that.” April answered pinching her cheeks, while Ethan chuckled. 

“I’ve had a decent morning, but her mom is on her way to pick her up.” Ethan did not look pleased by this, so April waited for him to expound. “Apparently they have reached an agreement, but she hasn’t said what that is.” He was worried, she could hear it in his voice.

“Can you take a break now? We can talk about it before she gets here.” Ethan nodded. “Hey Mags, can I get a 20-minute now?”

“Yeah, we’re good. Go ahead.”

“Thanks. And if you don’t mind, just let us know when Emily gets here.” Maggie agreed. “Thanks sweets.”

Tess started to fuss until April took her. As they sat in the cafeteria, April could see Ethan’s concern on his face. “Ok,” she stated quietly as she cradled Tess against her neck, “What’s the problem? Why do are you worried?”

Ethan took a deep breath and then just spewed. “Honestly, I am afraid of what this arrangement is going to do to us?” April’s eyes squinted in confusion. “I mean, Emily has never been known for being responsible, but with Tess she has done better. However, even with her, we are the most consistent people in this baby’s life,” he declared while rubbing Tess’s foot. “I’m worried that Emily and Bernie’s ‘arrangement’ will look good on paper, but neither will be able to commit completely and Tess will suffer.” He paused, because trying to help his family had already broken them up before, and he wasn’t sure he could deal with it again. “I’m not sure I would be able to stand by and let Tess suffer, because her parents are not responsible enough to do what’s best for her; which then could cause us problems- I mean before my family caused us to break up. I don’t think I can handle that again.” April knew he worried history was repeating itself, but things were different this time and she hadn’t planned on leaving.

“Ethan, things are different now. First, this is a child we are talking about, and she can’t fight for herself, so we have to. Secondly, you talked to me about it first, so WE could make a decision, not one person unilaterally- keeping our family the priority. In the past we focused on making everyone else’s lives better, while we sacrificed our own. This time, we will do what we can, but sacrificing our life together is not an option.”

“Agreed.” He smiled. “So, how far are you willing to go with this? How much are we going to fight? Are we going to push legally? Are we going to help financially? Help Emily? Try to mediate between Bernie and Emily? What?”

“Ethan, slow down! Right now, all we know is that Emily is coming to get Tess. We don’t know what the agreement is, so let’s not speculate. Maybe we can meet at your place for dinner and discuss the agreement with Emily and see how she feels about it. Then if we need to get involved, we can discuss it after she leaves.” She grabbed and rubbed the back of his hand. “I’m not going anywhere Ethan. We’re a team and we’ll figure out what WE should do for Tess.” A wave of relief flowed over Ethan and the tension in his shoulders finally released. 

He leaned in and gently kissed her, “Thank you.” She smiled with a wink as they walked to meet Emily in the department.


	7. The Foundation

They both kissed Tess good-bye, as she and Emily left his place. “Ok so I think that went well, don’t you?” he asked. April had immediately started to clean up the kitchen, so he wanted to make sure she was good. She nodded, but didn’t look at him. He grabbed her waist and turned her toward him. “April? What’s wrong?” When she turned, her eyes shined with tears.

“I’m fine. It’s just that I am going to miss her so much. I mean now we have her several days each week. But how often will we see her once they move back to Vegas?” She sighed. He just held her- he was going to miss his niece too and honestly it made him think about what if they had a kid.

“Well, we can Skype or FaceTime regularly. And we can plan some time to visit.” April nodded wiping her tears. “And hey, we both know Emily can be flaky, so let’s see what happens. We still have a few weeks before they leave.”

“You’re right. I’m just going to miss her,” she paused. He could tell she wanted to say something. 

“What is it?” he asked expectantly.

“Nothing. I guess it was good practice for us, right?” April knew Ethan would miss Tess, but she wasn’t sure if it made him think about them having kids or their future together. He never talked about it, so she wasn’t sure if he thought about it like she did.

He looked at her and then walked away gazing off into the distance. Uh-oh, she thought. We may have found a deal breaker, because she wants kids. “Ethan?” she called as she finished the dishes, but he didn’t turn around. So she walked onto the balcony to get his attention, but her attention was the one captivated. 

When April walked out onto the balcony, the scene took her breath away. The candles twinkled and illuminated Ethan’s smile. “Hello beautiful.” She was speechless. “I have been waiting for the right time to do this, but when you mentioned Tess being good practice for us, I knew it was the right time.” He took her hand and pulled her to him. “Spending time with Tess made me dream again, about our future and our own kids. I dreamed about our kids and what they’d look like- having your eyes and my dimples. I dreamed of your belly swollen with our children and my heart was bursting with happiness.” April smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes. “April I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Fortunately, I’ve been granted another opportunity for happiness, to have my dream, but it doesn’t work without you. So,” he paused kneeling before her and taking her hand in his, “I want to know if you would do me the honor in becoming my wife?” April smiled, eyes sparkling with tears, and kneeled in front of him. 

“Ethan, I have dreamed of our life together as well.” April paused, letting Ethan panic a little. Just when he was about to ask, she said “Oh, I didn’t say ‘Yes’, did I?” He dropped his head and she giggled. But when she lifted his chin to look at her, she wasn’t laughing and he could see the love in her lives.   
“Yes Ethan. I would be most honored to be your wife,” she answered as she kissed him. And on the 16th day of June, Ethan Alexander Choi placed an antique sapphire diamond ring on April Nicole Sexton, and began the first year of their lifetime together.

 

On the morning of July 4th, while sharing coffee together on the balcony, the couple observed a single white butterfly float pass them. “Babe, did you see that?” he asked.

“What?” Ethan pointed directly above her. “Oh my gosh, is that a white butterfly?”

“Yes it is,” he answered. And as he pulled her to him from behind, he remembered when she introduced him to the superstitious butterfly. “So, I guess it was redundant, because I am already the luckiest man in the world,” he replied turning her to face him. “I have been blessed with you.”

April smiled and kissed him, thinking about how that day had changed their lives. “You know sir, we never discussed that day.” He was confused. “I mean we argued that day, but it was also the beginning of a breakthrough of sorts.”

“Do explain.”

“Well you know we ‘disagreed’ about the course of treatment for the patient. But after speaking with him, I realized that I had locked myself away behind a wall in my life and figured that’s where I needed to stay- that it was the culmination of my life. But when we argued, I could still see the respect and care you had for me. And then we you tried to kiss me later, I finally noticed that it wasn't just a wall… it had a door.” Ethan nodded, obviously making great effort to follow what she was trying to tell him. “Ethan, you opened up life again to me, but the possibility of a new life and love scared me. It’s why I shied away that night; although I wanted to kiss you terribly,” she smiled rubbing his face. “But when Noah asked what was going on between us and said you weren’t coming to the party, I decided I wanted to see what else life had to offer. I wanted to go through that door and walk into a new opportunity with you. So I chose life! Life with you!”

Ethan dropped his head and let out a great relieving sigh. Suddenly April realized he thought she was with him because he had pursued her and there was no other option at the time- especially considering how she left after Emily. However, the tears in his eyes said that he had understood her heart and as she wiped them away, April gently kissed him. Their gentle kisses quickly transformed into a passion like they'd never experienced before. She asked how long until their shift starts and he responded “almost 4 hours”. She grabbed his hand and led him to bed, so they could make love.

Making love was different for Ethan because he found himself completely open and not holding back. He realized he'd been holding back a part of himself as protection, thinking he was a love of convenience not choice. But now that he knew she chose him, he let all the emotions (joy, fear, lust, love, need) pour out of him and it felt like he was flying! Sex with April had always been exhilarating and making love with her had always brought him peace- but now it was like he was HOME from a war he'd been dying to quit fighting. She was his home… she was his, and with every thrust he purposefully tattooed his name on her heart.

April noticed a light in his eyes, while they made love this time, that wasn't there before. A tangible fearlessness and freedom that she hadn't felt before when they joined. And as she looked in his eyes it was like she could read his mind- like he was speaking to her without words. He hadn't given himself completely to her before now. He had kept some back for himself waiting for her to leave him because he thought she was with him for convenience sake. But now that he knew she chose him, he was free to give her all of him. The fury of each thrust touched a place in her, he never had before. And she soon realized that now they were together again she was free too. The wall he had previously cut a doorway in, had been blown away by his love for her. She didn't want or need to protect herself from him- she was free too!

As he stoked the fires inside her with fevered thrusts, he leaned down to kiss her. And as if she read his mind she whispered, "Ethan, I'm yours," causing him to weep.

"Babe, are you ok?" she asked wiping his tears as his movements slowed to a halt.

And his dimpled smile said it all "I'm just really happy! It's a little overwhelming." Looking in her eyes and kissing her gently, he spoke out of his heart. "All that I am and have is yours."

She kissed him passionately in response, rolling then over so that she was on top. And as she rode him, he noticed a freedom in her that he hadn't seen before. It was almost as if she glowed! And as if on cue, she locked eyes with him and grabbed his hand from her butt, placing it over her heart. And as she kept his hand there, she smiled and said "Ethan Choi, I love you," as she proceeded to ride him into full abandon and cumming so hard she saw sparks.

But Ethan wasn't quite there yet, he was free to enjoy the feeling of her release around him and how she quickened in his arms. But her lips behind his ear and another whispered declaration of love, he could not resist. Flipping her under him, he drove his love home harder and faster- which kept causing her to toss her head back and close her eyes in appreciation. But the one time she looked at him, feeling him growing large within her, she smiled and Ethan erupted in elation. 

While cuddled up after this hour long marathon, Ethan lifted his head from her chest to see if she was awake. She'd been rubbing his head, but she did that often in her sleep. She was awake and smiling at him.

"April?"

"Hmm?"

"You happy?" Ethan asked excitedly.

"Happy is a pale description of what I'm feeling. I'm ecstatic... because I'm home! You're my home Ethan." She smiled as she lovingly rubbed his face. 

"So am I," he responded. "And April, I love you too," he paused "more than words can ever say."  
At that they held each other tight and drifted off to sleep.

April wakes about an hour and half later, to find Ethan in the deepest sleep she had ever seen him have. His fingers weren't twitching like they always had; his breathing was slow and controlled with no periods of frantic breathing as before; and he actually had a slight smile on his face, as if he was having a good dream and not a nightmare. A tear trickled down her face as she realized he was finally truly at peace.  
She decided she'd let him sleep in some, so she went and prepared their lunch and snacks for the day and then took a shower. 

The sound of the water seemed to arouse Ethan and as he woke he expected to pick up where they left off, but April wasn't there. He figured it had been a dream until he realized the sound of the water was real and he heard singing coming from the bathroom. 

He stood in the doorway just taking her all in. Her beautiful thick hair scaling past her perfectly shaped teardrop butt, and draping her taut breasts and stomach- she was perfection. But her singing could use some work, he thought, as he chuckled. Slowly he undressed and moved into the shower. They had 45 minutes until the shift started, but he wasn't going to miss any chance for reconnecting. 

She heard the door open and paused. Suddenly his hand wrapped around her stomach and she could feel him behind her. "Good morning sleepyhead".

"Morning beautiful. Why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"Peace." 

"Peace?" Her response had confused him, thinking maybe he had misunderstood their declarations and that everything was said in the heat of the moment.

"It was the first time I had seen you sleep truly at peace, so I enjoyed letting you have it." She hesitated trying to gauge his expression. "Did I misinterpret that you were peacefully sleeping?" And then she worried that she misinterpreted things said in the heat of the moment as real. "Did I misinterpret the things you said to me as well? Was that just the heat of the moment?" Her face was contorted with worry and Ethan realized she had the same fear as he did. So it was his turn to give her peace.

He pulled her to him, away from the showerhead, so that she could see and hear every word he said to her. "First, you didn't misread anything, it was the most peaceful sleep I can ever remember having. I woke up smiling." She giggled and dropped her head.

"And," he began as he lifted her chin to look at him, "I meant every word I said to you. It wasn't said in the heat of the moment. I was able to say things I never had because of the freedom the moment gave me. To feel so connected to you and to see you open yourself up even more gave me the freedom to do the same. I meant it when I said you were my home, because it's there that I feel safe and free to be all of me without being guarded or holding things back."

She reached up to touch his face and kissed him gently. "Same here!" She wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her tighter in his arms. "I guess we're going to feel a little scared because we've never allowed ourselves to be THIS open with each other, or anyone else, " he nodded as she continued. “So let’s agree that we will choose to believe what we said and felt and any fear that may arise afterward is dismissed until proven true. Deal?"

He grinned and picked her up. She could feel his hardness against her so she wrapped her legs around him. "Deal," he answered. "Now how much time do we have before shift?"

April kissed him, stroking her tongue pasted his several times, before jumping down and exiting the shower.   
"Not enough and I still have to dry my hair." She smiled, grabbed a towel and left the room.

Watching her walk away, Ethan looked up and smiled. He never considered himself religious, but he thought it only appropriate to take a minute to say thank you for the gift she was to his life. She was what he needed when he had no idea what he was missing. "Thank you", he uttered as he showered for work.


	8. The House that Love Built

Their wedding moved fast, but Ethan was able to remember each moment like as it was imprinted upon his heart and soul. April was a breathtaking vision of perfection. Her hair had been straightened and swept back into a large chignon bun, accentuating her flawless complexion, mesmerizing eyes, and sensual lips. The strapless mermaid gown caressed every curve as if it was her skin, and flowed like a delightful wave as she walked down the aisle. But her vows were what he will never forget.

“I promise to love, honor, and cherish you for the rest of our lives. I vow to be your home, your safe place, your refuge from the storm. I vow to be your partner, your champion, your best friend. I choose you.” He’d never forget her vow, as he vowed the same and meant to fulfill it only stopping in death.

April reveled in every moment of her wedding, but Ethan was the biggest surprise of all. When she saw him standing in his tuxedo, handsome and strong, she couldn’t help but smile. But when he first saw her and it looked as if he was awestruck, she couldn’t catch her breath. He was everything she didn’t know she wanted or needed, but she was so grateful for the opportunity to love him and be loved by him. 

After their “I do’s”, vows, and phenomenal kiss, Ethan had a gift for her. Instead of doves, bubbles, or balloons, Ethan had them release white butterflies.  
“Borboleta branca,” she whispered, remembering when she told him the Brazilian superstition about them being lucky. She just smiled, knowing she had been blessed with more than luck this day.  
As she watched them float on the air and fly away, he whispered “I promise to do everything in my power to give you a life that makes you feel as lucky as I do today with you as my wife.” And they danced the night away, anticipating what was next to come.

 

When April walked back out of the bedroom, Ethan’s heart skipped a beat. The sheer white baby doll negligee boggled his mind. He had made love to this woman too many times to count, but he couldn’t recall any time she wore a negligee, especially one like this. The color was innocent, but the cut was devilish. It said I have a secret, and I expect you to dig until you find it. He smiled and handed her a glass of wine, but she didn’t want it. It was surprising, but when she tugged on his belt, he didn’t care about her drinking. He was only concerned with drinking HER wine. 

Now that she was Mrs. Choi, April felt the need to exert some of that authority. When Ethan kissed her, her inner walls quivered, but she wasn’t ready to give into her weak knees just yet. She stripped her husband out of his tie and shirt, exposing his sculpted chest and six pack abs. His heart was beating faster and she loved that her touch could elicit that kind of reaction from him- but she wanted more. Slowly April unbuckled his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. As she rose back to her full height, she could see a visible sign of his anticipation protruding from between his legs. While kissing and licking behind his ear and neck, April trailed her nails down his stomach and slid his boxers down. Once he was free, Ethan looked down at how stiff he was and chuckled. “I guess we know what I’m thinking.” 

“I guess we do, but you don’t know what I’m thinking,” she replied pushing him down on the bed. She approached him from the side, teasing his nipples with her tongue and stroking him firmly. Then she straddled his chest, facing his feet, and proceeded to envelope his wand of ecstasy with her mouth. It wasn’t the first time she had taken him in her mouth, but this time feeling him settle within her aroused her even more. His heart was racing and pounding against her swollen bud, making her wetter knowing she could affect him in such a way. She was happier than she had ever been and as she stroked him with her tongue, she couldn’t help but hum. The vibration of her mouth took him to a whole different level, and he wasn’t sure how long he could hold on. April could feel him grow within her and it urged her on. Within a few minutes Mrs. Choi had experienced her husband in a new way, but was not disappointed as he returned the favor.

Mr. Choi ravaged his new bride, so much so that she exploded several times, and even squirted once. He desired to live inside her and explore every corner of her love. When he was inside her, it was like she unveiled something new each time, unifying them even more. Honestly, Ethan wondered if she had some type of chemical stimulant within her, because unlike with any other woman, April (his wife) could get him to release multiple times, with little need for recovery. She was his walking, talking, little blue pill, and with one sway of her hips Ethan was ready.

Following several hours of love making, foreplay, and the afterglow, the couple rested in each other’s arms. Spooned against Ethan, April held their interlocked hands against her heart, continually kissing his wedding ring. Suddenly, he released himself and got up. April figured he had to use the restroom, but he came back with a present. “This is for you- my joy and my lucky charm.”

“Ethan, please don’t put that on me,” she stated as she opened the gift, “because if I ever disappoint you, I would be responsible for killing the joy in your life, and I couldn’t handle that.” He grabbed her hand. 

“Look at me sweetheart. No matter what happens, whether you disappoint or anger me, I will still be overjoyed that you agreed to be my wife. The fact that you will be there to go through life with me is enough for me to know I’m lucky- so the gift is appropriate.” She smiled and opened the box. There in her hand was a diamond butterfly pendant.

“You are my white butterfly April. And I want you to remember I love you every day.” Ethan fastened the necklace on his wife and they both grinned at how beautiful it looked against her skin. 

“I love it Babe. Thank you.” She pointed to the nightstand. “Your gift is in the drawer.”

Surprised, Ethan opened the box. The card with a tastefully nude picture of April with a white butterfly painted on her stomach, read ‘Thank You’. Inside she had written, “Thank you for fulfilling all of my dreams. I love you more than words can say, but I’m hoping this picture conveys my heart clearly.” He told her he loved her, as he removed the card from the box. April laid her head down, while he retrieved the photo from the tissue paper. And there in his hand was the beginning of their future- their family. 

“Is this real?” He asked, stuttering, fanning the sonogram.

“Yes. We’re pregnant.” Her smile could light up the sky. “You gave me a life I only dreamed I could have. And now I have a wonderful husband, with whom I created this living expression of love.” She answered as she rubbed her stomach.

Ethan was dumbfounded with happiness. “How far along are you?”

“14 weeks.”

“And what about the TB? Will the meds affect the baby?” Ethan recalled her concerns before.

“According to Dr. Lee, I’ve been on my meds for so long now, my body has a tolerance. So, I can reduce my dosage during the pregnancy and the baby should not be affected.” He leaned down, kissing her in appreciation.

She smiled, rubbing his head as he rested his head at her belly button. “You say I’m your white butterfly, but you gave me mine. This child is proof that I am the luckiest woman in the world- and I have you to thank for it.”

He smiled broadly, reaching up to kiss her gently. “Thank you for letting me love you.”

Ethan kisses and rubs her belly, talking to the love of their lives, as April drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this story and I hope to write more in the future. Thank you all for your time and considerations.


	9. Epilogue: Amidst the Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A one-shot peek into Ethan and April's life after the wedding.

April had awoken this morning with an anxious start. It seemed like this “fear” was lingering all around her in the shadows and she just couldn’t shake it.  
“I mean, why do I deserve so much?” she asked herself, as she started to look around. She and Ethan had found this house right before their wedding. It had a few bedrooms, plenty of kitchen and dining space, a large backyard, and thick walls. It was a fixer upper, but their parents decided to gift them a remodel, since they had paid for their own wedding. 

April smiled strolling through the hallowed space, reminiscing on wonderful memories, when she came upon his room. Enzo Alexander Choi. A small giggle escaped her. She remembered how enamored Ethan had been when she told him she was pregnant. Though exhausted from love making, Ethan couldn’t help taking time to speak to his child. He whispered so long, his tone eventually put April to sleep. And when Enzo finally arrived, her heart swelled, flattening her lungs- breathless but elated. He was perfect!  
He was 7lbs 6oz with a head full of black curls. He was alert and quiet, which according to Mami Choi, is exactly how Ethan was when he was born. April had to laugh, because Enzo seemed to charm the nurses in his first days at the hospital; which again, Mami Choi said was just like his father. When Enzo would finish nursing, he’d just smile, looking like a cat who ate a canary, but didn’t care if you knew. The nurses would gush and he’d smile more, showing off his daddy’s dimples. “My little charmer,” she thought. Then subconsciously, she began rubbing her stomach as she approached HER room. Their baby girl, for whom they were still arguing over names, would be born in about 6 weeks, and April couldn’t wait to see her. She wondered if she’d look more like her or Ethan or a good mix. Would she be a vibrant personality like April, or a smoldering flame, like her father? April could only imagine and wait. But while thinking on her dream life, April’s heart clinched, because she was on the verge of losing it all and she had to find a way to save it!

It started last night at the Naval function. Ethan had been asked to attend the retirement dinner for one of his former Commanding officers, as well as others retiring from the Navy. Although she felt huge, she agreed to go. And since her parents came in town early for the baby shower, her mom and cousin helped her find a beautiful gown for the occasion. It was the perfect balance of sexy and motherly refinement- like a pregnant “Jessica Rabbit”.  
“Babe, this isn’t too much, is it?” she asked. “Because I bought a simple classic dress, if this is too… you know… MUCH.” Ethan licked his lips and moved closer to his wife.  
“It IS much, but it’s not inappropriate. And honestly, anything would look sexy on you- because you ARE sexy!” She needed to hear that as he leaned down to kiss her gently. “Now, as sexy as you are, we need to leave in 15 minutes. Will you be ready?”  
Chuckling she answered “Sir, yes Sir!” And with another peck, Ethan left.  
Looking as handsome as on their wedding day, Ethan had been introducing her to the members of his unit. They’d all come in for their CO’s celebration. She thought he seemed to stand straighter when his fellows would comment on how beautiful his wife was and offer their congratulations on their coming baby. It was going well, except for her continuous bathroom runs, but after the first couple she wasn’t as uncomfortable. He seemed to always be near the bathroom when she came out, except this time. Wheeling herself further into the function, she finally located her husband, but he wasn’t alone… he was talking to Vicki!  
April’s heart sank and simultaneously her little princess started doing flips, which made her nauseous. But after some sparkling water and whispering a sweet plea to her little gymnast, April made her way over to her husband and his former flame. “Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you. Are you ok?” Ethan asked, worry all over his face. But April wasn’t sure if it was concern for her, or concerned Vicki would find out they were married.  
“Sorry, I needed to find something to settle my stomach- the baby is doing flips.” Ethan pulled her in for a hug and gentle peck on the cheek, whispering “I’m sorry, I didn’t know” in her ear. And with that April’s ire was snuffed.  
Turning to face Vicki, Ethan re-introduced them. “April, you remember Vicki, don’t you?” April nodded and fake smiled. “Vicki is retiring from the Navy as well tonight.”  
“Oh really? Well congratulations!”  
“Thanks April,” she responded, “It’s so good to see you tonight. You look beautiful.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Yes, I’ve always found the bloom of a pregnant woman’s belly, full and stout, as one of the most glorious images of God.” April couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or giving her a “fat” jab, since she was a sleek as ever. It was nothing April would wear, but considering she felt fat, seeing Vicki here- looking like that wasn’t helping. Not to mention, the attention her husband was paying the woman.  
April smiled and squeezed his hand. “Ethan, I need some air.”  
“Ok, I’ll take you.”  
“No, no. You stay here and finish your conversation. I’ll be back.” Ethan looked puzzled, but April’s look gave him the impression she wanted to be alone, so he let go reluctantly.  
As April walked away, Ethan kept watching her, so that he’d have an idea of where she went, but every time she looked back, he was focused on Vicki. So April strolled around the hotel garden. She had no idea how long she’d been gone, but she knew it was longer than a few minutes. And as hunger began to knock louder, she felt his arm snake around her waist.  
“I was about to come back in. Did you enjoy your time with Vicki?” she asked turning to find her husband smirking.  
“So you didn’t need any air?” April shook her head bashfully. “I wanted to come with you, but you seemed annoyed, so I didn’t want to make it worse. I made sure a seaman kept an eye on you until you had some time away. But after 20 minutes, several inquiries of where “my stunning wife was”, and pre-call for dinner- I figured I needed to come get you myself.”  
April just dropped her head and smiled. Even when she thought she wasn’t on his mind, he always made sure to show her that she was. “You sent someone to watch after me?” Ethan looked surprised at her question.  
“Well, you obviously wanted some time away, but I needed to know you two were ok, so I had someone keep me abreast of where you were and protect you in my absence.” Ethan leaned in and kissed her gently, while rubbing her belly. “Now, I know you’re hungry. So let’s get you and my sweet pea some food!” Chuckling and wrapping her up in the comfort of his embrace, Ethan led his wife and princess, to dinner.

After a wonderful dinner and overhearing some soldiers (and their wives), say how they wish they could look like she did pregnant, April thought her insecurities were probably retreating. Ethan hadn’t left her side the rest of the evening and kept constantly roaming her body with his eyes, which increased her excitement. “Honey,” she whispered in Ethan’s ear, “how much longer do we need to stay?” Ethan shook the hand of the officer he was chatting with and focused his attention on her.  
“Not long. You feeling ok? Do we need to leave now?” he asked.  
She could tell he worried it was something with the baby, but she was asleep. April was just turned on and the more he stared at her, the more she wanted to be alone with her husband. “I’m fine”, she smiled seductively, “I just want to BE with my husband right now. And I really don’t think this ballroom is the appropriate venue.” She giggled quietly as she dropped her eyes, looking away, but apparently Ethan took the hint well.  
“Sit here and give me 10 minutes. Then we can leave… because I want to BE with my wife too!” And off he went to say his goodbyes.  
On their way home, April felt like she was on fire and kept apologizing for asking him to leave early. As soon as they hit the door, she pulled him against the wall and began stripping him out of his tuxedo. Fortunately, her parents had taken Enzo that night, so they had the house to themselves and she was going to make the most of it.  
A couple of hours later, Ethan left the bed thinking she was sleep, and April’s insecurities started to jump back out from the shadows. Their lovemaking was good, but shorter than usual. He didn’t move her into varying positions, as he normally did, even with pregnancy. He didn’t look longingly at her as they reached their climax, like he did before. “So what was different?” April asked herself. The answer was VICKI!  
Maybe Ethan regretted not staying with Vicki. She seemed single, which meant she didn’t have the responsibilities being with April saddled him with. And Vicki was still beautiful, while she was a swollen elephant. Whatever the reason, it was obvious Ethan was bothered by it, because he left the bed at 2AM and took his phone. April began to breathe a little harder. Was Ethan calling Vicki? April didn’t know what she’d do if Ethan left, but before she could fall any further down the rabbit hole, her daughter’s strong kick brought her back to reality. “I have to be strong for my children,” she commanded herself. “And I won’t give up my family without a fight,” April reassured herself as she forced her mind to stop.

Feeling his wife open up and explode around him, while they made love, was something that couldn’t be explained with words; which is why Ethan never tried. But tonight, he found that he couldn’t look on her too long, and he needed to take some time to deal with that. Seeing Vicki had stirred up feelings of regret- not about her, but FOR her. Vicki’s presence made him realize how much of a jerk he’d been to her. She’d ask and he’d continue to lie- saying that he had no feeling for April, when he knew better. He regretted wasting her time, but couldn’t regret breaking things off with her, because it allowed him to make a life with April. And this life was all he ever wanted and hoped for, all the while knowing he didn’t deserve it. His mind wouldn’t stop reminding him how fortunate he was. So since he couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to continue weeping silently, Ethan retreated to Enzo’s room and recorded a few videos for those he loved. Those that made the pain and stress he’d endured during war worth it: his son, his unborn baby, and the woman who bore it into existence- his wife, April, his “White Butterfly”.

Although April had awoken with a start, she was soon able to focus and make her plans. Ethan’s parents would take Enzo today, while she and Ethan have a do-over tonight. She’d already contacted Maggie and asked her to make sure Ethan left on time, so her special dinner wouldn’t be ruined. And now she had almost all the groceries she needed to make his favorite dishes, but she forgot the bread. As she started back into the store, 2 armed men ran out, trampling April, and speeding off in the process.  
When the ambulance arrived, Brett confirmed April’s heartbeat was good, but the hemorrhaging and decreasing fetal heartbeat showed the baby was in distress. She called Med, informing Maggie she was bringing in April, and to get prepared. Maggie made the arrangements and asked Ethan to step to speak with her. But when he didn’t, Maggie instructed Terry to take over with the patient and dragged Ethan out. He was noticeably agitated, but just as Maggie told him what had happened, Brett rolled in with an unconscious April and Ethan became white as a sheet.  
Brett quickly relays April is still unconscious, but her bleeding has slowed and the baby’s heartbeat is holding, but it’s low. Ethan’s fears sprint through his mind. His reeling thoughts kept him from hearing Will’s question. “Ethan?!” Ethan came to. “How far along is April?” Ethan looked dazed. He couldn’t comprehend what Will had asked, so Maggie answered as she started to take Ethan to the doctor’s lounge.  
“She’s only 34 weeks, but I already alerted Dr. Grant and she’s waiting for April in OB.”  
“Wait Maggie. What about neurology? With her being unconscious for… how long Brett?” Will looked to Brett for a quick answer.  
“Oh, she never regained. About 10 minutes.”  
“Ok. With her being out that long, we need neurology to do a consult to make sure she doesn’t have any bleeds or traumas.” He looked to Ethan, who just slumped defeated, and nodded. “Maggie page Abrams to the OB OR, and I’ll go up and explain everything to both of them.” She agreed, doing as asked.

Once the image of the coffin crossed his mind, Ethan jumped up. It’d only been a few minutes, but it already felt like he was submerged in a lifetime of hurt. “Maggie, I’m headed to OB. Tell Grant I’m scrubbing in,” Ethan demanded as he ran to the elevator, before she could stop him. Dr. Choi came off the elevator to find Goodwin, Grant, Abrams, and Will huddled together. “What’s happened? She ok?” Ethan interrupted.  
“Well,” Grant began, “the baby’s in slight distress but holding. However, at 34 weeks, I’m concerned with lung maturity, so I’m running tests now.” Then Abrams chimed in.  
“She has a small brain bleed I think can be controlled with drugs. But if we don’t reduce the cranial pressure in her skull, she’ll most likely stroke out; which could leave her…” Abrams chose not to finish his thought. Ethan knew that if the swelling didn’t come down, April would be brain dead.  
“Ok, let’s go!” But before Ethan could step into the OR, Will blocked his path. And when he pushed Will, Goodwin stood in front of him, her hand in his chest.  
“Dr. Choi,“ she paused, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I know your wife does. She was consumed with the same fear, when you were exposed to cyanide and she had to face the thought of losing you. She had to leave your care to others, because she could be the most effective by your side. So right now, you need to follow your wife’s lead. Be her husband! Be by her side and pour all the strength you can into her. Let the experts handle the surgeries.” With tears streaking down his face, Ethan nodded in agreement, prepared to be by April’s side while their daughter was delivered.

His little princess alerted the world to her presence with a faint cry, but Dr. Grant assured him tests proved her lungs were mature enough. And considering she was almost 6 pounds, Grant speculated April was further along than originally calculated. Fortunately, with the removal of the baby and placenta, April’s cerebral edema began to subside. Ethan gave his thanks to Dr. Abrams and Grant and then asked his mothers, Choi and Sexton, to sit with his baby girl. He’d stay with April to get her settled.  
It’d been almost 2 hours and April still hadn’t regained consciousness. Ethan was worried, but Abrams said the swelling was decreasing, so she’d be waking soon. Suddenly, Ethan felt a hand on his shoulder. Ethan didn’t resemble Eugene Choi, but he had similar mannerisms. “Son, you and I haven’t had the closest relationship. I was a soldier and I raised a soldier.” He paused as he pulled up a stool beside April’s bed. “But when you introduced us to April, I understood why you loved her. She loved that soldier into a MAN… one I’m proud to call my son.” Ethan couldn’t remember a time when his father claimed pride, but it was a definite boon to his struggling strength. “So,” Eugene continued, “you do whatever you have to do to pull her out, because you know we never leave a man behind. You concentrate on saving your wife, and the Sextons, your mother, and I will handle the kids.”  
“Thanks Dad. I appreciate that, but before I do, my daughter needs to KNOW her Daddy is here.” Eugene picked up April’s hand, Ethan knew his father understood.  
“Go take care of your daughter and I will watch over her until you return.” And with that, Ethan ran to meet his little princess. 

Ethan looked at his daughter. She wasn’t as small as many of the babies, but Dr. Grant favored keeping her in the incubator for a few days since she was early. She was breathtaking- she looked just like April, except for his dimples and skin tone. After a few hours Ethan was able to hold her, but he felt the scene was wrong! April should be the one holding her, sharing sweet moments together. “But I’m here without your mother and Princess I don’t know when you’ll get to see her. She’s not waking up and I can’t fix it. I’m your daddy and I’m supposed to be able to make things better, but I can’t fix this.” Ethan began to cry again, and his daughter seemed to channel her mother- touching his face and looking deeply into his eyes. Knowingly, Ethan kissed her forehead, placed her back in her incubator, and vowed the next time she saw him her Mommy would be with him.  
Ethan beelined to April’s side. “April, honey you need to wake up. Your daughter is waiting to meet her Mommy and I know you aren’t going to disappoint her.” He squeezed her hand. “You can’t let her be exposed to this world, without the shield of your love. I don’t know how to balance strength, wisdom, faith and femininity like you do… she NEEDS YOU!” He squeezed her hand again, placing it on his heart. “April, you’re my heartbeat and the love that binds us all together. Wake up!” April showed no change initially, but after a few minutes, Ethan felt a squeeze and looked up to see April’s glossy eyes.  
“Ethan, I need to meet our daughter.” Ethan chuckled lightly as tears dominated his cheeks- she had heard his plea.  
“Yes Ma’am,” he replied calling the nursery.

Three Chois gathered in April’s bed and while she fed their beautiful little girl, April apologized to Ethan. “Ethan, I was insecure about Vicki.” He looked confused. “She looked stunning. And when you got up after we made love, I got scared. I mean normally when we make love you can’t keep your eyes away from mine, but last night it was as if you needed to see someone else. I determined I’d do whatever was necessary to keep you happy. So, I planned to cook your favorites and make love all night, but before I could, those guys ran over me.” Ethan rubbed her hair and kissed her sweetly.  
“April, I couldn’t look at you like I normally would after seeing Vicki, because I realized how much I didn’t deserve you and this awesome life you gave me. Seeing her did stir up feelings, but they were feelings of regret for wasting so much time with her, when I knew you were the ONE. I was a jerk for wasting her time and ours.” He paused and sat down reaching for his phone. “Seeing you beside me was too overwhelming and my mind wouldn’t stop racing. So I went into Enzo’s room and tried to find a way to explain what I was feeling.” Ethan pulled up his first video- the one for Enzo. He then played the one for his little princess, while her Mommy rocked her after feeding. The baby seemed to grin as she looked at his face on the phone and then fell asleep gently. Ethan then let April see his video to her, while he placed the baby in her bassinet.  
“April, right now you are sleeping, but I couldn’t rest until I tell you how much you mean to me. We ran into my ex tonight, and all I could think was ‘Thank God, I made the right decision’. My life was fine. It was. But it wasn’t great until you came! I found peace in your arms and love in your eyes. I’m whole with you! I AM scarred and WAS broken, but your love mended me. You made my life complex, FULL and overjoyed, and then you gave me a family. For those reasons alone, I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy. But for the HOME you made for me in your heart and the breath you gave my soul, I vow to live each day trying to give you the same.” Tears marked April’s cheeks when she finished the video.  
“Ethan, I don’t think I could tell you how much I love you. But after that video, I’ll continue to do my best to show you.” He smiled and kissed her. “I apologize for letting my insecurities get the best of me. I never doubted your love. I just wondered if you would’ve loved life with her better. But now I know that’s not the case.” Ethan smiled. “So now, there’s only one thing left to do.” Ethan looked puzzled.  
“And what is that?” he asked, lust crawling over his lips.  
“Settle down tiger, I just delivered a baby!” They both laughed. “We need to name our daughter.”

One week later, Ethan, April and Enzo took their newest member, Aveline Ethana Choi, home to fall into their net of love… amidst the butterflies.

The END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received a request to write an additional chapter to show what their life would be like after the wedding. It inspired me, because when I thought about it, I could see so many complexities and things that "could" happen, that would either bond them more or break them apart. I hope you all enjoy it and please feel free to give me your feedback.  
> I have greatly appreciated all the kudos from everyone and am hopeful that as I continue to write, you will continue to enjoy.  
> Take care.


End file.
